On Leaving

I've spent many days in the second half of this year feeling slighted, undervalued, and unattractive. I spent the day sick, mostly, falling asleep on my desk and waking up with globs of drools on important papers, thankful to be going home soon.

I've spent the last three hours enjoying my own company, holding a necklace in my hand and imagining it on my sister, putting on leather gloves. I spent a moment talking to an old classmate named Ben who recognized me beneath my hat and scarf.

I spend my last night in New York alone enjoying a small piece of chicken liver pate some cheeses I had leftover from a get-together at Jenny's. I spent $1.50 on a loaf of sesame seeded bread from the corner store and heat it over our electric stove.

Now, I'm packing and listening carefully to Charlie Brown Christmas. Home can't come soon enough.